No matter what you do, you are going to fuck up the life of your kids. Sorry for the language, but I needed you to listen.
When your kids grow up, they will find a way to do something you don’t want them to do. And they will blame you for it.
They will find a way to mess up the perfect lives you tried to give them.
They will grow up and find a way to dislike you and some of the things you do.
Parenting is a challenge for which there is no perfect score. So please, stop trying to get a perfect score.
I am not asking you to give up on your kids. I’m asking you to let go of yourself.
Let go of the pressure to be the perfect parent. Let go of the need to give your kids the perfect, all-organic, ultra mega high nutrition diet. Let go of giving them the perfect birthday party. Let go of thinking you need to say the perfect soothing words all the time when they cry. Let go of the pressure that they should walk, read, write, bike by a certain age. Let go of the need to give them 200 tutors so they can have perfect grammar, blindingly fast algebra, and perfect white teeth. Let go of the need to capture all of their precious moments on perfectly composed photos. Let go.
There is only one thing your kids really need. Your time. They don’t need you to be a perfect hero. They just need you to be there.
You can never be a perfect parent. You can never have perfect kids. But you can be a parent to your kids – and you can only do that when you spend enough time with them. Parenting is a choice we have to make everyday.
And one of these years, when the time comes when your kids mess up (and by the way, they will) you can be rest assured that even if they don’t admit it, they will know in the deepest of their hearts that you will be there for them.
They will know that in their time of trouble and time of parental need you will always make time for them. Because it’s what you’ve always done.
You ain’t perfect. You can’t be. And that’s OK.